If He Had Been With Me

If he had been with me everything would have been different…

I wasn’t with Finn on that August night. But I should’ve been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it’s not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial.

So let me tell you…

If he had been with me, he wouldn’t have died.

Throughout their whole childhood, Finn and Autumn were inseparable—they finished each other’s sentences, they knew just what to say when the other person was hurting. But one incident in middle school puts them in separate social worlds come high school, and Autumn has been happily dating James for the last 2 years. But she’s always wondered what if… The night she’s about to get the answer is also one of terrible tragedy.


  • Type: Fiction, Kids
  • Age Range: Young Adult
  • Number of Pages: 336
  • Original Publication Date: Apr 2013
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks
  • Rights Sold:
    • Sourcebooks (World English)
    • Novo Conceito (Brazil)

What people are saying:

Wonderful, beautifully written, haunting, heartbreaking and simply amazing! That’s just the tip of the iceberg when describing my opinion of If He Had Been with Me. Ahhhh…although no words can truly describe how much I loved this book!! Months ago I knew I wanted to read it but never could have imagined how great it would be. I can honestly say this is already in my top ten reads of all time. I was sucked in from the first page and never wanted it to end. It’s a story of love, friendship and fate. It will have you thinking about the what ifs and make you think if life really has us here for a certain reason. Pick up this read…NOW! Trust me you won’t regret it!

  • — A Southern Girl's Bookshelf

This book is a treasure; I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever. I want to savour this wonder, this happening of a loving book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time again

  • — The Reader's Den

If you’re looking for an emotionally-charged teen read, this is your book—hands down. Fans of YA Contemporary Romance, New Adult, or Coming of Age will also enjoy this book.

  • — Literary Meanderings

[Autumn and Finn’s] romance is Shakespeare-worthy in its tragic dimension. Autumn’s reflections on love’s possibilities and near-misses will surely resonate with the unsettled teen soul, and readers will get exactly what they came for, and then some.

  • — The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

…the finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut…Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character….readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

  • — Kirkus

“This sweet, authentic love story masks complex characters dealing with complex issues: single parents, divorce, only children yet ersatz siblings; high school, college, the pull of the clique; love, friendship, sex, and teen pregnancy.”

  • — Booklist, Frances Bradburn

“Using tender prose that makes it hard not to care about the main characters…readers are sure to feel the ache of life’s capriciousness.”

  • — School Library Journal

“…a haunting story that stays with the reader long after the last page.”

  • — VOYA

Friendship, love, secrets, hope and regret…this book has it all! . . . If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin is a page-turner that you won’t be able to put down.

  • — The Girl's Life Book Club

And the writing. Oh, the writing…sublime.

  • — Rather Be Reading, Magan

Both breathtaking and heartbreaking, this novel will leave you completely stunned…you can rest assured that this will be one book in your life you will never regret.

  • — Teenreads, Samantha W.

There’s something about Laura Nowlin’s writing that reaches out and touches the heart in unexpected ways…A strong debut from an author to watch!

  • — A Backwards Story

[I]t’s high school – and it’s going to make you cry.

  • — The Armchair Librarian, Nenia Campbell

…this is an absolute must read. 5 out of 5 stars

  • — Pretty Deadly Reviews, Bekka

I urge you to buy it… what are you waiting for? “awesome” rating

  • — YA Fanatic, Zemira

This is my favorite YA book of 2014 by a landslide.

  • — Bookfuls


  • Selection, 2013 Junior Library Guild (JLG)

Written By:

Laura Nowlin

New York Times bestselling author of If He Had Been With Me and forthcoming This is (Not) Your Song.

> See More from Laura